My Meteorologist Boyfriend

New Englanders have very close relationships with their television personalities. Maybe it's the same way in other areas too, but even as a kid I had favorite television personalities. In high school, a friend of mine had a huge crush on Doug White, an anchor at channel 10 in Providence. My mother has a crush on Frank Coletta, the happiest man to ever drag his ass out of bed at 3:30am. In Rhode Island it was especially evident that people loved their anchors and weathermen, mainly because the state is so small you were bound to run into them at some point. I saw RJ Heim eating at Goeff's on Thayer Street in Providence (but didn't say anything because the guy is a raging prick, so I hear). My friend Alicia was close friends with a reporter who used to work at channel 10 who provided her with career and personal advice. Now Alicia works at channel 7 in Boston, usually in the evenings.
One Saturday night we had plans to go out, but she had to direct the 11pm newscast so she invited me to watch the news in the studio. She asked in a tone of voice that made it sound like I'd be watching paint dry on the side of a particularly boring barn, but I replied in a tone that made it sound like I'd be a roadie for Sting or something. "Awesome! Yeah, I'd love to!" Alicia let me in the studio, her eyes low and bored, while I jumped around like a kid who'd met Mickey Mouse. "Look, there's where the weather guy stands! Wow, that's where Randy and Caterina sit! There's the breaking news desk."
"Yeah," Alicia said as if I was overwhelmed by the sight of a photocopier.
While I have a raging non-sexual crush on Randy Price (he's gay and lives with his partner and twelve cocker spaniels, sadly) my one true television personality love is Pete Bouchard, the meteorologist. He's bald, married and has kids, but my heart beats a little faster when I see he's written the blurb on the website. He uses references to obscure classic rock songs. He even used the Police today!

Are you "Driven to Tears" (Police) with the forecast?

Yes, but that's not the point, Pete! You even know obscure Police songs. As Paris Hilton would say, that's hot. And who doesn't love a man who is confident enough in himself to illustrate Saint Patrick's Day on the 5-day forecast with his face on the body of a leprechaun?

I love a man who knows his way around Photoshop. (Hi Matt Nash, if you're out there!)
According to Alicia, Pete is a fabulous guy when not on camera too. So, to review, he digs the Police, he's humble, funny and older. He is perfect for me! I seldom see him on the actual newscast (I think he works days, and Todd Gross, who gets on my last nerve is usually on in the evenings) but I enjoy reading his weather forecasts, even when it involves "snow" and "accumulations," while the same words in Todd Gross' forecast leads me to saying "fuck off and die, Todd." I can only hope that Alicia invites me back to the studios sometime when Pete is working so I can snap a picture with my camera phone and proclaim my undying geek love for him.