Tom Brady Wears Hat: Film At 11

Oh for fuck's sake.



Really, Boston.com? With news that Army Specialist Alex Jimenez may have been killed by his captors, planes falling out of the sky, tuberculosis about to come and kill all of us, and a presidential debate we could talk about, you elect to run a story about Tom Brady wearing a hat? Or is the underpaid writer on your night desk just messing with us to try and whip up another frenzy? Yes, this is an award-winning scoop you've got there.

I just fear this could go to a bad place for our beloved QB. Since this whole paparazzi thing is relatively new to him ("Bridget Moynawho?") he may freak out like Britney Spears did during the whole Kevin Federline courtship and baby-making and use his fashion to communicate with his adoring public. If we're not careful, Tom may start sporting one of these heinous things:



While I don't think he'd lose it enough to order a pink hat, I do fear he could bring back the trucker hat from its well-deserved grave to send messages to his public. Let's just let the man put whatever he wants on his head without a slide show, let him have fun with his hot girlfriend this summer, and start talking about his football prowess in a couple of months. Don't make him so desperate he breaks out his "I'm a Virgin (But This is an Old t-shirt)" shirt. God.

Workin' 9 to 10...

Ahh, Friday. Hello Friday, my old friend. A blogger's favorite day. We can write all sorts of unrelated nonsense and nobody really minds. Friday is the day when the beer flows, I know I can sleep in and treat myself to a breakfast of frozen waffles and hard-boiled eggs rolled in salt on a great Saturday morning. (Shut up, it's delicious.)

However, this week I must reign my Friday revels in as I'm going to my friend's work Christmas party. The Workplace Christmas Party is always a tough row for this ho. It's all the glory of open bar without any of the license to act a fool. I have no problem with the social aspect of the workplace party-- I'm convinced the only reason they keep me around my company is because I'm generally good for a laugh-- but it's a fine line between "funny and maybe buzzed" and "falling down the stairs and spilling wine on Kristen and Arthur." (Sorry.) I'm excited for my friend's party-- we get dinner as well as drinks. I also plan to "network" (read: find a date). This is also good practice for my own Workplace Christmas Party next week.

In related news, I went to both Filene's Basement and H&M in Back Bay last night looking for a cute party frock. Really, I shouldn't be buying anything since I have a wedding I need to prepare for at the end of the month and very limited funds, but I figured if I saw something cute I could use it tonight, for my work party, and for the rehearsal dinner for my friend's wedding.
Sweet God, H&M, get it together. Taffeta everywhere. Polka-dotted taffeta dresses. Everywhere. Like, Cyndi Lauper would have thought these abortions "totally rad" in 1983. If it wasn't taffeta, it was some Twiggy-esque mod minidress with pearl trim, which was much too casual, and not in a good holiday color (bright blue). Filene's just had either very dowdy dresses or very cheap juniors dresses. It was disappointing. I have some wool pants with sparkly thread woven through and a black cashmere turtleneck, but I'd hoped for something a little more cute and feminine.

Last night was quiet around the homestead, with only a mouse scuttering around above my bed. The insomnia last night was caused by the late closing time at the part-time job for the holiday season. I don't get home until about 10:30, and I'm still kind of wound up from my thirteen-hour workday, so it takes me hours to get to sleep. If I can make it until after Christmas when I'm taking some much-needed time off from both my jobs without a nervous breakdown, I'll be elated.

Apparently Mitt Romney used to be sympathetic to gay people. I guess Mitt's had a rough twelve years since his 1994 interview, in which he said, "People of integrity don't force their beliefs on others, they make sure that others can live by different beliefs they may have." Exactly, stupid.

I wish Starbucks sold those cardboard carafes full of holiday lattes. My cup is empty, but I can't bring myself to throw it away in case more holiday latte magically appears. I don't care if I have to order it in Fritalian, it's delicious.

Well, I'm going to curl up under my desk and take a nap. Have a lovely weekend everybody! Keep your vajayjays in your knickers.

Random

Finally, it is Friday, the day when your beloved blogger runs whimpering into the arms of cool, hoppy comfort. Oh, and my friends come too. So let's lighten things up a bit.

Did you hear this? Apparently, Mitt Romney was using illegal immigrants to tend his lawn. Heh heh.

Also, since I'm heading out to the more crowded and rowdy Garden area for my Friday Night Sam Lights, I would like to remind you gentlemen who frequent bars of one thing. Please do not caress a woman around her stomach. Guys do this to my friends and I all the damn time-- the gut squeeze. Yes, we have that neat little curve but some of us carry our extra weight on our stomachs and are a smidgen uncomfortable about it, so please don't grab anything below the boobs and above the hips. I have friends of varying weights and we all feel the same, from the teeny-tiny to the thicker. We'd much prefer an ass grab if you must grab (because, let's face it, my friends and I are hot). Thank you.

Apparently living in a city leads to a higher rate of bulimia, but anorexia isn't any more likely in a city. I figure it's because people of good taste like to enjoy the city's restaurants but when they leave they see women wearing leggings as pants and can't control the urge to vomit. Leggings are the enemy, people.

There's this woman I see on my way to work a few times a week who has very bad pants. She's got one of those wide butts, and she wears pants that somehow make it look wide and squishy at the same time. Also, the legs are about an inch and a half too short. This enrages me even more than it normally would because she walks to work with her cute boyfriend.

I am very much digging the song Love Me or Hate Me by the British rapper Lady Sovereign. She's very funny. Good stuff.

I'm babysitting this weekend for the first time in over a month. I feel like the kids are going to be in college. The eldest is certainly smart enough to be.

I think I'm developing a tapeworm. I just had lunch and I'm already hungry again. Dammit.

Have any of you watched channel 38 and seen the promos that Chris May and Sara Underwood have done for the 9:30 newscast? "It's like the late news... but it's earlier." Cracks me up every time.

Well, that is all. I'm going to see if I can drum up something for my tapeworm to eat. Have a good weekend. Don't grab anyone's tummy pudge.