Amy And The Order of Not Giving a Crap

There are moments in life where one feels truly alone. Walking down Revere Beach in February. Arriving at a Dunkin Donuts that mysteriously has no line. Getting one of the solo seats on the old Green Line cars. But I feel the essential loneliness of human existence most when a new Harry Potter book or movie comes out.


You can try your abracadabra shtick on me, Potter, but it won't work.

This month has been hard for me. The Order of the Phoenix, the latest movie from the series, has made a gazillion dollars since its release last week. The last book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be released at 12:01 tomorrow, with millions of release parties tonight. Yet I feel nothing.

It's not that I haven't tried the Harry Potter Kool-Aid. In college, I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in about three days and loved it. I saw the movie and I own the DVD. But after I read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets I was underwhelmed. It seemed like the same formula. I just didn't care enough to pick up the third book or see the second movie. Thus began my cultural isolation.

My friends talk to me like I've suffered some traumatic accident. "I'm so excited for the midnight release party. You're coming, right . . . Oh yeah. I forgot you don't like the Harry Potter books." It's as if I'd just lost a leg and they'd asked me to go dancing before they remembered I can't.

Some friends try to pressure me back into the fold. If I'd just try the third book, I'd get back into it. The books get darker. The kids get older and deal with hormones. Whatever. If you need me, I'll be at the bar like on any other Friday.

I Believe in Peace, Bitch

I don't like horror movies. And by horror movies, I don't mean psychological thrillers like Silence of the Lambs. I mean movies like Hostel, or that new one with Hillary Swank and the fucking frightening locusts. Movies that are frightening just to scare the shit out of fools willing to part with $12 for a movie ticket without any sort of commentary behind them hold no place in my life or on my Netflix queue.

This morning I was reading Bitchfest, a collection of essays from Bitch magazine. While Bitch is a feminist magazine, it isn't a boring, dull, politics-only publication, but it takes on how women are treated in pop culture by women who like television, sex, and fun. While I consider myself pretty sensitive to portrayals of women, the essays in this book brought up a lot of points I'd never thought of, especially the essay "XXX Offender: Reality Porn and the Rise of Humilitainment" by Shauna Swartz. She describes a new type of porn where a woman is coaxed on a bus, promised money for sex, is debased, and is then left by the side of the road when the man is done. While it's performed by actors, the fact that it's presented as real humiliation of women is a new low for the porn industry. (I say this as a woman who likes porn on the merits. Hi, Mom!)

As soon as I got to work, I got this article from CO about the new horror movies called "gorno." Eli Roth, director of Hostel and Hostel II said this at a junket for his new film:

"Any time people see women in a horror film," he noted, "they say, 'Oh, these girls are just pieces of meat.' And, literally, in Hostel Part II, that's exactly what they are. They are the bait, they are the meat, they are the grist for the mill."

Yeah. Thanks, dude. Thanks for encouraging horny teenage boys to associate hot women and sex with torture. Last time I checked, I am more than a piece of meat, as are most other women. How is it possible that movies that show too many naked breasts have an X rating, but movies that graphically depict extreme violence are open to any kid with a fake ID or a stupid parent?

Kira Cochrane, author of the Guardian article, sums it up nicely:

...[R]ecently the levels of horrific violence on show at the multiplexes - and the sheer cynicism of the films involved - have gone through the roof. And a lot of the most nasty, unrepentant and terrifyingly pointless violence is aimed at women. ...the violence against women that's most troubling, because it is here that sex and extreme violence collide.

I don't really have anything else to add. It's a really sad time to be a woman, what with our eroding abortion rights, continued low pay when compared with men, and getting raped and murdered in porn and at your local movie theater without anyone complaining. Check out Bitchfest, and complain with your wallet when Hostel II comes out. Otherwise, you're just grist for the mill.