Push Up My Bra Like That

I complain about my boobs on this blog quite a bit. Most of it is just self-deprecating humor. Some of my friends have smaller boobs than me. My friends with bigger boobs tell me not to wish for bigger ones since they lead to sore backs and scars from the straps of their bras. The last guy I dated said he liked my boobs (not too much since he dumped me, but it's nice to get positive user feedback). As I age I have come to accept that they're not going to get bigger, the rest of me isn't going to shrink much more, and they are what they are.

It seems that many young women who are getting breast implants are taking their problems with their bodies way too seriously, as a study has found that women who get breast implants are at a higher risk of suicide than women who don't.

Women with implants were, however, 73 percent more likely than those in the general population to commit suicide, while women who had other forms of plastic surgery also had an elevated suicide rate.

The risk was not dramatic, Morrison noted, as few women in the study committed suicide -- including 58 of the more than 24,000 breast implant patients.

Still, he said it "seems reasonable" to suggest plastic surgeons refer implant seekers for mental health consultation when they suspect the patients are at high risk of a psychiatric disorder or suicide.

Still reasonable to point women for mental health consultations? Uh, yeah. I know that Hollywood and rich baby boomers have made it trendy and acceptable for people to have a doctor cut them open in the name of vanity, but think about it. These women are so fundamentally repulsed by their own bodies that they willingly allow themselves to be drugged, cut up, have foreign things shoved into them, and sewn back up all in the hopes that they will feel better about themselves when they wake up. That isn't healthy.

I understand that not all breast implant surgeries serve vanity. Women with breast cancer often have them done to replicate a breast they lost to a mastectomy. But the majority of these surgeries are elective. I'm sure some of you think I'm overreacting, but the neurotic surgeries for women have only just begun. There's rhinoplasty, surgeries to reshape the butt, liposuction, and so on. But there are also operations that some women are having to reshape their labia. (SFWV.)

Women with exceptionally long or unequal lengths of the labia minora can have them aesthetically reshaped. Some patients desire to have a more youthful appearing external vagina by reshaping the inner or outer labia.

Can you imagine a culture where young women go to a plastic surgeon because she's embarrassed by her labia? Can you imagine a mother encouraging her daughter to have surgery so her clitoris is better exposed? Some mothers encourage their daughters to get breast implants, so it's not outside the realm of possibility. You don't hear about guys going to the doctor to have their penises reshaped, so why are we responsible for keeping our tits big, our labia even and hairless?

Maybe I don't want to have a daughter. I don't know if I can be a one-woman crusade against these fucked up practices our society is embracing in the mind of a child.