Dum dum da dum...

Finally, it's happening to me.



My friends are getting married.

(No, I'm not getting married. Calm yourselves.)

This is not a bad thing. I have been to two weddings in my lifetime: my Mom's second marriage which took place in a courthouse, and one that I'd rather not get into because I was delirious with fever, looked a hot mess, and was an emotional wreck about it. For my Mom's wedding, I was seven and looking forward to wearing a pretty dress and having my hair braided in tiny braids so it looked crimped. (Shut up, it was 1988, I cannot be held responsible.) For the other wedding, I took delight in the best man recounting the story of the first date the groom had with the woman he dated before he met his wife while her face grew red from embarrassment and anger. I sure do hope hell is as warm as they say it is.

Now, my old friends are starting. Kerri and Will are getting hitched. I love Kerri and Will, and I fully support their union. They both love animals and have a menagerie at their house. They cook really good food. They have good parties. They're both smart and logical. I've known Kerri since early in my high school career and known Will since he showed up on the scene a few years ago. (It was around my birthday they had their first date, a double-date my friend Yvette went on with Will's roommate, and I remember them telling me about the date as we had dinner in Providence.) They are good people and I'm happy for them.

However, I have no idea how all this wedding etiquette works and I am living in fear of making a great faux pas. A couple of my other friends were in weddings this summer. Missy was in three in the space of three months, and was a member of the bridal party in one and the maid of honor in the other. It nearly bankrupted her. Another friend was called in as a replacement co-maid of honor and it made her broke and angry with the other maid of honor. We talked about bachelorette parties, how much bridesmaids dresses cost, the cost of hotel rooms, the cost of registry gifts while my head swam.

Now I am left to figure out the ways of celebrating marriages for myself. I cannot attend the bridal shower because of the part-time job. Do I send a gift even if I can't attend? According to Peggy Post, I don't have to, but I can if I want to. What kind of direction is that? "It's generally not done, but sometimes it is." Crap. I may send a gift just to assuage my guilt over not being able to go and celebrate them in person. (I tried to get out of it!) I also am attending the rehearsal dinner because I am doing a reading for them. Do I need another nice dress for the dinner? I only have one really good dress for formal occasions. Peggy Post is again of little help. My Mom, whose weddings were both incredibly casual affairs, can't help me. I just want to make sure I do the right things because I like the couple and don't want to make them feel like I'm not excited for them. I am. I just don't know what shoes to wear and if dark green is an acceptable color to wear to an evening wedding.