No Money for You

File this bit of news under "No shit, Sherlock."

University fund-raisers are increasingly worried over young graduates like Minsky. They fear that with student debt ballooning today, campus coffers may be suffering tomorrow.

Private student loans are growing an average of 27 percent each year, according to the College Board. Almost a quarter of college students are turning to credit cards to help pay tuition, another study found.

I got my first alumni donation request before I'd even posed for pictures with my "receipt," known generally as a diploma. I'd just crossed the stage at the Wang, and along with a eleven-sizes too large t-shirt, I was handed a request to donate to the school. I immediately tossed the request. Fast-forward four years, and I still scoff whenever the alumni office calls to ask me for money.

The Globe's article kind of makes me feel guilty by listing all the kids who benefit from large alumni donations to financial aid. I got a decent financial aid package from Emerson-- they knocked about a third off my bill-- but I'm still in the hole about $60,000 for my entire education. I pay about $400 a month in student loan payments, which will jump to $530 in a couple of years. While I'm glad I have my degree (now more than ever), I simply can't give money to my alma mater. Hell, I haven't even donated to my friends' charity runs yet.

And even if I did have money to donate to an institution, I'd donate it to my other alma mater-- my high school. I was in there a month ago and my beloved stage is dug up and in dire need of refinishing and new curtains. I'm sure the TV studio could use some help too. The programs that typically get the shaft-- theater, art, TV, student writing publications-- got me through high school without losing my mind, and I'm sure they've helped the kids that came after me. Public school kids don't have a choice on where they go, and I think that kids can find out what they actually enjoy if given the opportunity to experiment. So don't call me Emerson-- once the Derjue Memorial Wing is built in my hometown, you can have what's left.

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are (To Drink Coke)?

I love American Idol, sometimes. It all depends on the season and contestants. Season One found me getting drunk with my senior-year roommates and rooting for Kelly Clarkson. Season Two found me not that interested. Basically, I'd casually watch until last season, where I found myself captivated with the singing-phallus-stylings of one Chris Daughtry. This season, I haven't really cared. I watched the god-awful auditions, I watched as children and histrionic adults had their dreams crushed, I was glad when Sanjaya got the boot, and then I stopped caring.

Tonight, however, was Idol Gives Back, which is a publicity stunt to raise money for various vaguely-explained charities. The idea is that people call and vote and News Corp. (read: Fox News) will donate $.10 per vote call toward these charities. Which begs the question that perhaps Fox News could just promise to stop being douchebags as a way to heal the world, but whatever. Tonight involved the remaining six contestants singing "inspirational" songs between video packages of Ryan Seacrest embracing people while wearing "grungy" clothes valued at more than the GDP of the countries or communities he visited. Simon Cowell threatened to ward off malaria with his man-teats. Paula Abdul smiled nicely. Randy Jackson said "dawg" to people in New Orleans.

I sound like a horrible Scrooge, I know. But American Idol is an orgy of consumerism, which I've accepted. A bunch of guys named Nigel make a gazillion dollars by exploiting the dreams of attractive young people who are strung out on Coke, careening around in various Ford models, text-messaging their loved ones on AT&T/Cingular phones, only to pause once weekly to scream at me on my TV. I tune all that out to enjoy snarking on contestants with my friends and occasionally liking someone who comes out of the show. In all honesty, I'd hoped Kelly Clarkson would be on tonight, but she won't be on until tomorrow's result show. (Her new song? Awesome. She can keep making breakup songs until the end of time and I will keep buying them. Fucking Guarini.) I do not, however, associate American Idol with philanthropy. While I appreciate the effort to raise awareness of the horrible conditions in many African countries and how many people starve in America, I do not appreciate hearing "Download a Ford commercial and the babies won't die." I'm paraphrasing, but not by much. "Be sure you thank your corporate overlord, News Corp., for single-handedly saving the little black babies in Africa."

If American Idol wanted to convince me they were serious about philanthropy, they should have taken down the Coke logos, stopped the Ford commercials, and not talked about Cingular text messaging for the hour. Instead, they should have done an actual telethon. Bring out people we want to hear sing (CLARKSON!!), have the contestants sing, and have America pony up some actual dough to help people. Clearly, Americans can mobilize their wallets when assuaged by horrific circumstances. During 9/11, the tsunami in Indonesia, and Hurricane Katrina, Americans donated millions of their private money to help people. We don't need Fox News to donate a relatively paltry $5 million to help illiterate kids in Kentucky get books. The Idol-viewing audience needs to sack up, part with some damn money, and actually do something good for someone. One night of corporate donations for actions people already do won't save the world. Teaching viewers to take the time to stop and think about those who are less fortunate will.

Feel the Rage, Part I

Last night, after a lovely day of walking the North End, stopping in a graveyard, flipping Mitt Romney off (more on that later), and walking all the way to Coolidge Corner, I decided to watch the evening news. My emotions were kind of raw after watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition since it was a family who had just unexpectedly lost their father, and what does the channel 38 news lead with?

Some sick bastard stole one of the Salvation Army pots outside a Walgreens in Methuen. Not only did this sick fuck steal from charity, he stole from charity while a man with Down Syndrome was minding the pot and didn't even understand that he'd been robbed until someone told him.

A Salvation Army bell ringer kept ringing his bell as the red kettle was lifted from the tripod next to him outside a Jackson Street drugstore.

He kept ringing it as the thief walked away with the kettle and the money the bell ringer had collected for the poor at Christmas.

He finally stopped when an employee of the drugstore, who witnessed the theft, called police.

Then the bell ringer, a 41-year-old man with Down syndrome, became frightened.

Let's make this clear. Whoever stole from this guy just sealed his place in hell. I hope that Satan pulls your toenails out by the millimeter with white-hot tongs. I hope the Dark Lord pulls out your innards through your mouth so you can watch. You stole from the poor and a retarded person at the same time. That is completely heartless and cruel, and I hope the police find whoever did this and punish him/her as harshly as possible. The Salvation Army has had a rough enough time of it lately with many stores not willing to let the bell-ringers set up shop outside their stores (Target, I'm looking at you) and now people are stealing from them? In doing research for this post, I found several other bell-ringers in other cities have been forcibly robbed as well. But just walking away with the pot from a person who didn't know better? Sick.

Hungry Heart

This is scary.

An advocacy group warned legislators today that hunger has spiked as they presented a study that found that the number of Massachusetts residents going without food has more than doubled the last three years.

Project Bread found that the percentage of hungry Bay State residents has surged to 18 percent from 8 percent in the last three years. The numbers were part of the group's annual Hunger in Massachusetts report, which it released today after presenting the findings in a PowerPoint presentation at the State House.

Well, if they presented it in PowerPoint, it must be comprehensive!

Anyway. During this time of year, it's easy to get excited about all the food you're going to eat, complain about being too full, and complaining about the two-month-long gorgefest that is the holiday season. But do keep in mind that there are people all around you who are going hungry. I had a month or so where I worried about being able to buy food, and it was frightening. It's easy for a person to fall behind and not be able to buy food for themselves or their families. Please consider making a donation to a local food bank during this holiday season so a family in Massachusetts or Rhode Island can enjoy the sensation of being full.

Rhode Island Food Bank.

The Greater Boston Food Bank.

Project Bread.

The Food Bank of Western Massachusetts.