The Economic Downturn Hits Matt Amorello

Dear Matt Amorello,

Dude. I feel ya.

Today's Herald reports that your estranged wife and a judge say you need to get a job. Your Missus reports that you haven't brought home a paycheck since May. You're deep in credit card debt. You might even lose your Wenham home. So now you're under a court order to apply for 15 jobs a week.

Are there even 15 jobs to be filled in the Boston area? We have been in a recession since December 2007, after all.

But Matt, I know you've been trying. You joined Facebook last month to start networking with old contacts. It's hard for any Republican in Massachusetts to get a gig right now, nevermind one with a history like yours. It may come down to the accepting the position the Herald's designers helpfully suggest—slinging fries at a fast food joint. (Though I'm thinking I'd take a job at Dunkin' Donuts first. I'm afraid I'd scald myself with burning oil at McDonald's.)

Keep fighting the good fight, Matt. I'll see you on the bread lines.

Best,
Amy Derjue

The Economy Changes Its Facebook Status to 'In a Recession'

Well shoot. Looks like I am fortunate that I kept my job as long as I did.

The U.S. economy has been in a recession since December 2007, the National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday.

Man. Time flies when you're in the midst of a recession, doesn't it?

Rhode Island Treasurer Caprio Woos Massachusetts Shoppers

Greetings from the state of Rhode Island! Since I've spent the past few days camped out at my mother's house, I've been watching our local news. Amid the stories of the latest record-setting blood alcohol content (kudos for not dying, dude!) is this interesting item.

Rumored gubernatorial hopeful and current Rhode Island State Treasurer Frank Caprio has installed billboards near the border of Massachusetts telling Bay Staters to spend, spend, spend on clothes in the Ocean State, since there is no sales tax on clothing here. He's even spent some of his campaign funds to create a website, which features a video of the too-tan Caprio giving potential out-of-state visitors the hard sell.

But Caprio is really reaching with this. Massachusetts doesn't have a sales tax on clothes for the first $175. After that, the Bay State only taxes on the amount over $175. So if you spend $300 on some astoundingly expensive specialty item, you pay only $6.25 in tax. Unless you live in Attleboro or drive a hybrid, you'll spend more on gas to get here than you'd save.

Also: Why aren't Rhode Islanders really angry that their treasurer is using this opportunity to raise some extra money to better his political career? Rhode Island is facing a budget deficit of at least $357 million in FY2009, and perhaps as much as $486 million for FY2010. Legislators on Smith Hill are preaching the same breathless rhetoric about needing new revenue as their cohorts on Beacon Hill. Why not start taxing luxury items in the Ocean State to make a few extra bucks instead of cutting services for those who can't afford a mink coat?

Caprio will argue that Rhode Island will collect the various meal and lodging taxes from shoppers who come to enjoy a break from the tyranny of Taxachusetts. But maybe he should stop playing governor and start acting like a treasurer. Most Rhode Island voters will be happy to watch the state get some revenue from those who aren't as white-knuckled as they are during this economic meltdown.

Eureka!

I've finally learned why I'm broke.

If you're sad and shopping, watch your wallet: A new study shows people's spending judgment goes out the window when they're down, especially if they're a bit self-absorbed.

It's like they know me.

Now to find a way to justify my credit card balances as a legitimate mental problem so I am no longer responsible for paying them off.

Pride Goeth Before Being Triple-Charged

Yesterday, I read all about commuters who couldn't buy their T passes yesterday morning because all the Charlie Card machines were overloaded. I smugly noted that I'd bought my T pass on Thursday night, so I was all set for February. Suckas!

Alas, my smugness has come back to bite me. When I checked my bank account this morning, I found that my T pass charge had posted on Thursday night. But there are two pending charges from the MBTA. One $59 charge is marked as a deposit, and another is marked as an additional withdrawal.

I hope that all works out. I can't even begin to fathom trying to reconcile the two most inefficient entities I deal with on a regular basis—the MBTA and Sovereign Bank.

Not So Zippy

A few weeks ago, I got extensions put in my hair for work. The salon that did it didn't have a location within range of the T, so I relied on my trusty Zipcar membership to get me there.

That's where it all went wrong.

The nearest Zipcars to my office are in the basement garage of a hotel. I hate getting cars out of this location-- you have to go into the hotel lobby and validate a parking ticket to get out, and the automated arm is hard to activate. The garage itself is hard to navigate as well. It's tight, and the Zipcars are located in a far corner that requires a lot of finagling to get in and out.

That day, I'd reserved a car that was parked next to a pole and a wall. It had been backed in by the last person who used it, and the space was so small I had to climb in the passenger door to get in. I got out of the garage, and hoped one of the other cars would have left its space when I got back.

No such luck. I got back to the garage and was faced with the narrow spot. My appointment at the salon had taken longer than I anticipated, and I was focused on getting back to work. As I pulled into the spot, I heard a crunch.

I'd hit the back passenger door against the pole.

I looked in the rearview mirror, and saw I was wedged against the pole. I tried to back the car away, but it continued to damage the car. Figuring I was already on the hook for what I'd done, I pulled the car into the spot with another squeal.

The back door was covered with yellow paint, and a four-inch gash was under some yellow flecks. Being the chronically honest person I am, I called Zipcar to tell them I'd messed up the car.

"Well, we'll put a hold on your account until we decide if we'll charge you the $500 deductible," the operator told me.

After a week, I got an untitled email (geez, guys way to make it easy for my spam filter to delete it) saying I'd be charged the deductible.

"Fuuuuck," I said.

It's going on my credit card, which is the last thing I needed. I can barely afford my apartment, and I've been very good about not charging things and putting what I can toward paying them off. Now I've got another huge chunk to rack up interest.

Another issue is that I want to get these extensions out of my hair, which I can't do until Zipcar reactivates my account, which may not even happen if they decide I'm too much of a risk. So if anybody's going my way, let me know. And if you want to organize a fundraiser for me, I'd be grateful.

No Money for You

File this bit of news under "No shit, Sherlock."

University fund-raisers are increasingly worried over young graduates like Minsky. They fear that with student debt ballooning today, campus coffers may be suffering tomorrow.

Private student loans are growing an average of 27 percent each year, according to the College Board. Almost a quarter of college students are turning to credit cards to help pay tuition, another study found.

I got my first alumni donation request before I'd even posed for pictures with my "receipt," known generally as a diploma. I'd just crossed the stage at the Wang, and along with a eleven-sizes too large t-shirt, I was handed a request to donate to the school. I immediately tossed the request. Fast-forward four years, and I still scoff whenever the alumni office calls to ask me for money.

The Globe's article kind of makes me feel guilty by listing all the kids who benefit from large alumni donations to financial aid. I got a decent financial aid package from Emerson-- they knocked about a third off my bill-- but I'm still in the hole about $60,000 for my entire education. I pay about $400 a month in student loan payments, which will jump to $530 in a couple of years. While I'm glad I have my degree (now more than ever), I simply can't give money to my alma mater. Hell, I haven't even donated to my friends' charity runs yet.

And even if I did have money to donate to an institution, I'd donate it to my other alma mater-- my high school. I was in there a month ago and my beloved stage is dug up and in dire need of refinishing and new curtains. I'm sure the TV studio could use some help too. The programs that typically get the shaft-- theater, art, TV, student writing publications-- got me through high school without losing my mind, and I'm sure they've helped the kids that came after me. Public school kids don't have a choice on where they go, and I think that kids can find out what they actually enjoy if given the opportunity to experiment. So don't call me Emerson-- once the Derjue Memorial Wing is built in my hometown, you can have what's left.

That Don't Confront Me

Dear Sovereign Bank,

Hi. Amy here. I've unwillingly been a customer of yours since whatever chain of events led you to acquire my account from what was once Bank of Boston. I haven't left because a) I'm lazy and b) I am such a financial jackoff that I need that overdraft account you gave me. Generally, I'm okay with your big fees for using said account because I'm an asshole who never balances her checkbook.

However, when I checked my balance online tonight and saw my balance mysteriously dropped from a robust $1400 to $300 without my rent check clearing, I got a little nervous. I bought some new running shoes, but they didn't cost $1100. My long-overdue paycheck cleared, so I didn't see the problem. So I called you up.

I will give you props for having a very easy to navigate menu and for hiring actual English-speaking employees to staff the lines. The fact that you've only cleared half of my paycheck because it's a "large deposit" (doesn't feel very large) is not so nice. My direct deposit hasn't started yet, but the bills still have to be paid. Allegedly, the balance of my paycheck is going to clear Thursday morning, so I am left to pray my landlord won't cash my check until then. And yes, I'm sure I've read that little sign that says the first few hundred bucks alone posts right away, but could you reflect that in online banking next time? That was pretty close to a panic attack I just had, figuring I'd be back at the family's door, begging to move back into the spare room. I'm now going to drink Gansett and eat Pop-Tarts until I pass out to soothe my nerves.

But good work on the phone lady. She was nice to my broke ass.

Sincerely,
Amy