Writing Like It's My Job

Way back when on May 23, 2004, I started this blog.

I've been blogging since 1998. I don't know if the word "blog" even existed in 1998, but I was doing it. But my blog involved emailing a piece of my wisdom to everyone in my address book, which clogged their inbox since I was writing a lot more in 1998. I've since slowed my writing, but occasionally still have cause to share my wisdom. I hope that this will make it easier.
I hope to set up some kind of archive to illustrate the growth of my work since 1998. I also hope that some publisher will read this, realize how brilliant I am and give me a syndicated column in America's major newspapers and a sitcom based on my work.
So thanks for coming by... hopefully we can enjoy this blogging thing together.

I've come a long way, baby. I read some of my older stuff and groan, but I also read some of it and laugh my ass off at my own wit. (Yes, I'm very modest.) After more than three years of writing nearly daily here, I've had some success. I've written articles for InSite. I did the freelance piece for Boston Magazine in November. Universal Hub very kindly links to me on a fairly regular basis. One guy sent me a book. (Hi, Michael!) I have some of the very awesomest readers on the Internet who aren't afraid to disagree with me, but more often than not laugh or rage right along with me. I enjoy writing here every day.

And, amid all this good stuff, pasquinade has gotten me where I wanted it to. I've been hired as a staff writer for Boston Magazine. Yes, Dan Shaughnessy's worst nightmare is coming true: the bloggers are coming out of their parents' basements and into the hallowed halls of print publishing. Watch out, Danny boy! If you don't step it up, Basegirl's gonna have your job soon.

It was a total whirlwind process that started only a couple of weeks ago. One of the editors emailed me to ask if I'd like to come in and interview for a full-time gig. I was pretty sure I was being punked, but when I showed up and was actually allowed in the building I got really excited. After I did a couple of sample pieces for them and another harrowing phone interview, I was offered the job. Of course, I accepted. I start next week.

I'm very grateful for the opportunity that Boston Magazine is giving me. They're taking a chance on someone who is a relatively inexperienced writer just because I'm a good inexperienced writer. I'm totally up for the challenge, and I can't wait to get started. I hope to keep pasquinade up and running because I do like writing with lots of swears, and I'm probably going to have to reign that in a bit for my day job. (My writing day job. Hee. It's not old yet.) I can't tell you what I'll be writing yet, but I do hope you'll keep tabs on me in my "professional" capacity. I can only hope the sitcom deal comes through for me next.

Kismet

It's fate, people. I'm looking to be more creative in my work; Boston is looking for a poet laureate.

In addition to composing works about Boston, according to a proposal by Councilor John Tobin, the city's poet laureate would be charged with educating the public about the ancient art form. He or she would also compose poems for functions such as the State of the City address, swearing in municipal officials, and high school graduations.

Well, I took the infamous Forms of Poetry with Bill Knott at Emerson, and while the class nearly destroyed my will to live, I did learn quite a bit about the forms of poetry the ancients used to entertain themselves before TiVo. I have a writing degree and a rhyming dictionary. Hire me.

Writing samples? Okay. Here are some off the top of my head in the favored quickie form of the haiku. I do them 5-7-5, though the kids I babysit kick it with the 3-5-3 form. I may be counting syllables wrong. As the eight-year-old tells me, I need to work on my math skills.

Blow cold breeze
nose hairs freeze solid
I dream of sun.

Dunkin Donuts love
America runs on you,
bitter roasted beans.

A form of poetry that doesn't get nearly enough love is the clerihew. Here are a couple.

Mayor Menino
got elected by kissing bambino.
He reacted with gall to the fug City Hall
and for a new one he started to brawl.

The Departed
is a film not for the fainthearted.
It entered Scorsese into the Oscar race,
for him to lose would be a disgrace.

JD Drew
a prospect to leave Boston blue.
Us fans? We don't want him
Trot leaving still has us grim.

I mean, this is some pretty rudimentary stuff here. With the proper time and a good benefits package I could do much better, Councilor Tobin. My email's on the sidebar. I have a resume and references. I look forward to hearing from you.