Pack Your Bags, Y'all...

Cuz I'm going to Florida!
It's lame. I know. Florida isn't a great international destination. Usually when I go on vacation I try to go someplace with a culture different than New England/the United States. This involves me running from destination from destination at speeds that would make a marathoner jealous and feeling exhausted once I get back.
Florida doesn't really seem like it's part of the South, but it's not New England. Most notably because it's not colder than Jennifer Anniston's loins in Florida. There may actually be plant life that is green outdoors in Florida. As I sit here in my woolly sweater, all the culture of Boston and Europe could not drag me away from the idea of lying on the side of a pool drinking some fruity cocktail reading a book that will kill my brain. I hope to stagger up to Mickey Mouse and give him rabbit ears in a picture with him. I want to go swimming. Swimming!
Apparently, we're staying at a posh resort about a mile away from Disney World. There's a waterslide at the HOTEL pool. Since the last time I went to Florida was in 1987 and I stayed in a trailer with my grandmother, this is blowing my mind. I imagine myself in comically large, Jackie-O sunglasses with my hair tied back in a scarf driving around in a convertible. I cannot wait.
And now that I have encited you all to voilence, I will get my pitchfork and torch repellent ready. Along with my sunscreen. Hee hee hee.