Emotional Communism

Fuck you, Valentine's Day. Fuck you hard. Fuck you with barbed wire condoms.
This amount of vitriol can only mean it's Valentine's Day and I'm single. Again. Some more. I long the halcyon days of elementary school where everybody got a valentine in their tissue-box mailbox. If you gave one kid a valentine, you had to give everyone a valentine. It's the shining example of communism working in reality-- I never had hurt feelings in elementary school. Maybe it's because I was a borderline kid-- not really cool (but not getting slammed into lockers) so it allowed me to think, even for a day, that I was cooler than I thought.
Then came junior high, and the illusion was gone. Different groups ran events for Valentine's Day, but the emotional communism was gone. You could buy someone a carnation for a dollar and it would be delivered to them in their last period class. You could buy a bag of candy for a dollar and it would be delivered to the first period class. Of course, someone has to think enough of you to shell out a dollar of their babysitting/allowance money so I never got one. Actually, I think my science teacher may have felt bad enough for me that she bought one after my endless complaining. Teacher's pet, maybe, but at least I had a carnation and wasn't stigmatized as the Girl Without a Valentine.
Valentine's Day is bullshit. People complain about Christmas being too commercial, but I think Valentine's Day is by far the most blatant money-making scheme going. Christmas at least has the decency to exploit an ideal of good will towards man and kindness. Valentine's Day plays on people's insecurities. If you don't get a card or flowers, you're unloved. If you're single, stay home and watch the Extreme Home Makeover Reunion show like the unattractive freak of nature you are. If your boyfriend doesn't buy you something worth a lot of money and take you to a fancy dinner, he doesn't love you as much as you thought. Maybe he's going to dump you. Did he take another girl he dated before you out to a nicer place? Does that mean he liked her more? Did he forget Valentine's Day entirely and get these roses free with a ten gallon fill-up at the Shell station? While our logical side knows it's bullshit, we've been exposed to endless romantic comedies and commercials that get this little undercurrent of doubt going and, if you're a misanthrope like me, it turns into a flood.
But I will not be intimidated. I almost had a Valentine this year (believe you me, if he'd soldiered through another week of my company, I'd have made it worth his while) so I'm doing better than previous years. I've also got a girl's night out planned, so at least I won't have to slog through another hour of Ty Pennington's screaming. And I did get a card, which is on display in my room, to remind me that the days of emotional communism may be over, but there's still people in the world looking out for me and taking my side.
(Be on the lookout for posts all day... I'm sure some emotional baggage will be circling around the carousel today. Because that's how I kick it on Valentine's Day.)