You Are Coming to a Sad Realization, Deny or Allow?

I need a new computer. Desperately.

It's been coming to my attention slowly. I got my precious iBook in 2001, during a "carpe diem" fit of spending after 9/11. I fell in love with it immediately. I loved iTunes even before the iPod. I loved how quickly it downloaded music. I loved OS X. Aside from a battery issue early in its life, it's been very good to me.

Over the past few years, however, it's become apparent my baby can't keep up with my ever-growing computing needs. After a near-death experience with my hard drive, I've had it on suicide watch. The battery barely holds a charge anymore. Blogger is a bitch on Safari, but Firefox hates my slow computer. If I try to run Safari, iTunes, and LimeWire simultaneously, the swirling beach ball shows up and my computer crashes. On Friday, I was downloading music while watching TV with my brother. I updated iTunes as well, and when I plugged my iPod in again, I was greeted with a message informing me that my USB outlets are too slow, thus making updating my iPod with my computer like trying to shove a watermelon through a thimble. Great.

My digital camera is also problematic on my laptop. When I try to upload the pictures to Photobucket, it never works because my computer can't process the data fast enough. I even lowered the resolution on my beautiful 7-megapixel camera to help it along. No luck. Even the 2 megs don't load. What fun is a digital camera if I can't upload the pictures of my drunk friends to pester them on MySpace?

So this is what I want. A new baby to love and cuddle. One with fast USB ports, a fast processor, a cool new magnetic power cable, and everything I need. Say hello to the object of my desire:


Look! I'd be smarter and faster! And I'd have a cute baby in a pirate hat! Or something. But look how hot that thing is. I'd stick with the classic white, of course. But the screen is bigger. It's faster. Drunk uploads ahoy! I need that bad boy.

For now, I'm hanging on to my money to pay my Visa bill off and move myself into a new place. But if my beloved compy dies, I'm going to have to sack up and get a loan for some of the cost of a new laptop. My friend Jen also had this problem with her Mac laptop, but she compromised and bought a new desktop, which is about $300 less than the Mac Book. She uses her slow-ass laptop for sitting in front of the TV and web surfing, which is one of my primary leisure activities. So that is feasible as well.

If anybody has any connections at Apple, give me a yell. Hell, I'd even be interested in a less inefficient older laptop if the price were right. Or the fine folks at Apple can give me a freebie and I will make this blog-template Apple-happy so fast my readership won't know what hit them.