Friday, September 16, 2005


Image hosted by
"Oh holy Jesus, the people are pissed. 'I'm sorry, so sorry...' Karl, are my approval numbers above fiddy percent yet? Keep singin'? Okay... 'so sorry...'"

Listen up, you weasel. I am having a shitty day. I can't do math, I'm drowning in work everywhere I go, I'm preparing to leave my life for one month to care for my mother. It's raining and I had to drag my ass out of bed to get to my job, slog through puddles, watch my fellow Bostonians drag their collective ass through the queue at Dunkin Donuts to get the cup of coffee that makes their miserable Friday slightly less hellish. I get my paycheck and make cartoonish "awoogah" eyes at the amount of money the federal government takes from my paycheck. Do you know why they take so much money from my measly little check?
No other president has ever did that. NONE. Not your Dad. Not fucking Roosevelt, and that was a damn war. No, like an irresponsible teenager with his birthday money, you squandered money on a war we didn't need. Now we have an actual fucking problem on our hands that affects actual Americans, hundreds of thousands of them, on American soil, and you're going to pay for the rebuilding. How are you going to pay for it, Mr. Bush?
No! Stop! Once these people rebuild their homes, which shouldn't have been totally obliterated (just in need of serious repair work) because you squandered the money they requested to fortify their levees on the aforementioned pointless war, their children are going to pay for it because some other president is going to have to eventually raise taxes to pay this deficit. Yeah, it won't affect your poll numbers because you'll probably be dead and remembered as a shit-ass president with a heart of gold because he loved Jesus. Too mean? I don't care. I have put up with your shit for nearly five years and I am glad that people are finally realizing you suck. I know a seven year-old who would be a better president than you. At least she can read.
I know I've resorted to ad hominem attacks and cursing. But I'm sick of trying to phrase it nicely. You're an idiot. I don't care what party you're in. I hate idiots. You are an idiot. Therefore, I hate you. You let people down. If you'd read the damn press releases, you'd have known how dire the situation in Louisiana was going to be and done anything, something, to help. Maybe you'd have been in D.C. to hasten along relief instead of in Crawford. Maybe fired a director of FEMA who you knew wasn't qualified?
You know who I miss? Bill Clinton. He was on the Today show this morning and I just wanted to beg him to come back. Yeah, he's a schmuck. Give him all the interns he wants if he can get the budget deficit down to ZERO again and actually respond to problems before the media basically tells him to do it. I think Bill Clinton is smarter than me. Maybe it's because he's crafty, but I think he actually gives a shit about this situation. I think Bush is a slave to his approval ratings and rich people. Oh, and an idiot. The director of FEMA under Clinton didn't run horse shows, y'all.
So, thanks for the aid, jackass. I look forward to giving a huge chunk of my future paychecks to pay off the deficit you've made and not getting anything like healthcare or civil liberties in return.

No comments: