Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Once, There Was This Boy Who...

Okay so. I hate Mitt Romney. (This may be unexpected. Please sit down until the shock subsides.) This is not to say he's a deplorable human being on a personal level, though given his backwards policies toward women and homosexual couples I'd say he's not exactly an open-minded guy I'd like to drink with. I also don't wish the man any physical harm, mainly because I saw this episode of Law and Order last night where this girl who said she wanted to kill her mother on a dollar-store version of MySpace and had some psychopath do her dirty work got put away for twenty-five years and I'm not going to jail if Mitt Romney gets hurt. If, however, Mitt Romney grows a cooter as has to navigate puberty, well, yeah, I'm going to the pokey.

(Calm down. I don't wish actual harm on any politician. Step away from the email link.)

Aaanyway. It turns out Mitt Romney and Matt Lauer have been setting a bad example for our nation by not buckling up, and I want you all to know I'm not making a Romney hair as helmet joke nor a comment about how I wish he'd crash after the quote.

After challenging New Jersey Gov. Jon S. Corzine for not wearing a seat belt, "Today" show co-host Matt Lauer apologized Wednesday for an interview with Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney in which neither man wore a seat belt while driving through New Hampshire. . . .
Romney apologized for not wearing a seat belt, saying in a statement: "Sometimes I forget to wear my seat belt. For my own safety, I need to keep reminding myself to buckle up."

Who doesn't buckle their safety belts in 2007? I know that both Romney and Lauer aren't as young as I am, but I'm relatively sure I spent most of my childhood convinced that a car wouldn't start if not every passenger was wearing his seatbelt. My mother actually sang PSA jingles to my brother and I to remind us to buckle our seatbelts. Did they not watch TV when the crash test dummies were in their heydey? (No, not those Crash Test Dummies.) (Extra points to those who figured out that I really just wanted to link to that video. How the hell did that song get so popular anyway? It doesn't make any sense. But it's still awesome.)

I don't give two shits if George Bush, Mitt Romney, Matt Lauer, Jon Corzine, or anyone who is a grown adult doesn't wear their seatbelt. That's their own stupidity on display for everyone by not wearing a safety device that could easily save their lives. I'm sure as hell going to be wearing my seatbelt, so if I collide with one of these stupid people my odds of making it out relatively unscathed are pretty good. This should not be "news" on's home page for an entire evening. If we're so stupid as a country to not want to vote for a man because he didn't click it, well, we get what we deserve, don't we?

Please, America, don't be that stupid. Keep in mind the myriad of other reasons note to vote for Mitt Romney.

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