The Madness of Hot George

Alright, you. Listen up. Don't make me say this again. Don't make me get rough with you. No, not like that. You dirty old man. Focus. I need your "legitimate artist" persona here for a moment, not your horndog, J-Lo co-star movie-making persona. Don't give me that look. No, stop. Stop.



Let me tell you this. You can't break me with that sultry stare, the just-right grey hair... NO! I must say this.

I know Bono. And you, George Clooney, are no Bono.

Don't puppy-dog eye me, sir. You know what I mean. Rock stars have causes. Bono has more causes than the Library of Congress has back issues. And from him, it's fine. He's Irish. European people have a wider worldview than us lowly Americans. He and the boys play some rock and roll, the Edge plays a riff while Bono goes on with a touching informative PowerPoint display for ending war or changing human nature or whatever, then we get back to the rock. As an actor, you do not get this luxury. You can't just stop the movie and step aside and go on a five-minute diatribe about being a liberal. Know why? No Edge to keep the rock and roll in the background. It just gets annoying if not paired with the riff for "I Will Follow."

As an actor, you get to make your statements by the movies you choose to produce/direct/star in. You've done this compellingly with Good Night and Good Luck and from Syriana, which I hear isn't bad. You can even make statements during the press junket for these films since it's relevant to the conversation you've started. But now that you've won an Oscar, don't bother us for a while. We know you're hot. We know you're liberal (Bill O'Reilley probably wasn't asked to appear in Good Night and Good Luck). It would be like Heath Ledger writing endless opinion pieces for Out Magazine or the Gay Times. He's not-- he made his statement for accepting people by choosing the role of Ennis Del Mar, and that's it.

Yes, I'm being harsh. But the liberals aren't hurting for famous faces attached to their cause. Do something constructive. Run for office. Campaign for a specific candidate. Meet with the President about issues like Bono does, and be politely argumentative (like Bono is). Yes, by virtue of your smoldering hotness and status as "rich and famous" you can bend some ears. But an op-ed piece isn't going to get it done. Or else get the Edge to follow you around with a guitar while you talk.

There. Now I can succumb to your hotness. ::genuflects::