Wedgie

Ladies! Run, do not walk, to your nearest shoe-selling establishment. Procure yourself some wedge sandals as soon as humanly possible. Knife a rich lady on your way in to pay for them if you must. I have purchased said style of shoes (without harming a rich lady) and I have seen the light.

A rough approximation of my new lovelies.

It is the age old dilemma for women like me. I grew up a tomboy, living in sneakers. I never enjoyed putting on my Mom's heels, I never enjoyed dress shoes. The shoes I wore when my Mom got married traumatized me, and began my lifelong habit of wearing uncomfortable shoes for style. Occasionally I'd wear the white with pastel trim shoes to school, and by noon my feet hurt and I hated the fact I'd worn them. But every couple of months, I'd wear them and the ritual began anew.

When I experiment with heels I love the height, but hate the wobbly feeling I get on skinny heels. My black pumps are hot, but when I wear them I walk at about an eighth of my usual speed. I have to plan to leave the apartment early so I can get a seat on the train because if I can't sit, I stand and sway and stumble more than a termite-infested giant sequoia. But these wedge shoes? The best of both worlds. I am about 5'10 today with these shoes on, which is about four inches taller than my normal height. I rode the T into work today, transfixed and repulsed by the hot but pissy looking guy in a suit I was standing next to, and I did not sway or stumble once. The brown suede with gold trim matches my belt and t-shirt. I look easy, breezy, beautiful. And I am comfortable! Oh my God, I have on hot shoes and I am comfortable!

This can only end badly, with me being unable to purchase new pots and pans for my apartment but having fifty pairs of various wedge sandals in many different shades. AND I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I <3 <3 THESE SHOES!!

Ahem. Intelligence will come later.