Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Sweet Corned Jesus

As my Mom said, "What a bunch of hypocrites."

Yes, give up what is dear to you, so you can act like Jesus and understand his suffering. But give up corned beef? On St. Patrick's Day?! Quel horreur!

You can't allow gay people to adopt otherwise unwanted babies from Catholic charities? You can't overlook a lifestyle that your religion disapproves of so a child has a chance at life in a stable home? But you can grant dispensations so people can eat some salted meat and drink beer and look like assholes? It's a mortal sin to lust, but just skipping a day of your fasting is okay? Jesus didn't get to be a martyr by saying, "Boy, I do love corned beef... okay, I'll eat. But just for today."

If you believe something, believe in it. If you don't eat meat on Fridays or on Lent, don't eat it. Don't be a hypocrite and just pick and choose your suffering. Since I am a godless heathen, I'm going to scarf it down. The eternal hellfire being a small price to pay for beef and beer.

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