Tomorrow is America's birthday. America, it turns out, is a Cancer, which is something I hadn't thought about before but makes perfect sense.
Although generally they do not like confrontation, Cancers are not above seeking revenge against those that hurt them.
. . . Or preemptively seeking revenge against those who may hurt them in the future.
As disappointed as I am in America right now, George W., I still love it here. So, you know, go democracy and junk. I'm going to drink beer, walk around humming the 1812 Overture and/or "Our Country," and take in the fireworks over the lovely city of Boston.
I hope you all stay safe this weekend. Don't drown, develop fungal infections from your flip-flops, get your face or limbs blown off by illegal fireworks, don't drive drunk, don't strap your pets to the roof of your car, and don't even think about bringing booze to the Hatch Shell. But have fun, kids! Enjoy your personal liberty!