Tuesday, July 03, 2007

That Don't Confront Me

Dear Sovereign Bank,

Hi. Amy here. I've unwillingly been a customer of yours since whatever chain of events led you to acquire my account from what was once Bank of Boston. I haven't left because a) I'm lazy and b) I am such a financial jackoff that I need that overdraft account you gave me. Generally, I'm okay with your big fees for using said account because I'm an asshole who never balances her checkbook.

However, when I checked my balance online tonight and saw my balance mysteriously dropped from a robust $1400 to $300 without my rent check clearing, I got a little nervous. I bought some new running shoes, but they didn't cost $1100. My long-overdue paycheck cleared, so I didn't see the problem. So I called you up.

I will give you props for having a very easy to navigate menu and for hiring actual English-speaking employees to staff the lines. The fact that you've only cleared half of my paycheck because it's a "large deposit" (doesn't feel very large) is not so nice. My direct deposit hasn't started yet, but the bills still have to be paid. Allegedly, the balance of my paycheck is going to clear Thursday morning, so I am left to pray my landlord won't cash my check until then. And yes, I'm sure I've read that little sign that says the first few hundred bucks alone posts right away, but could you reflect that in online banking next time? That was pretty close to a panic attack I just had, figuring I'd be back at the family's door, begging to move back into the spare room. I'm now going to drink Gansett and eat Pop-Tarts until I pass out to soothe my nerves.

But good work on the phone lady. She was nice to my broke ass.



Marcy said...

I've had a very similar situation happen with Citizens, who shall henceforth be referred to as Shittizens because it's fitting and because I am, apparently, 12 years old.

The problem with my situation was that I have my rent come out in halves twice monthly. Instead of having it set to go on, say, the 3rd and the 18th of the month, their setup only allowed "every 14 days". (This has since been changed, but...) This *usually* is fine, until every 14 days ended up being the 29th of one month, followed by the 12th of the next month - which isn't cool, since I get paid on the 1st and 15th. Add to that the fact that I was in Texas when this all happened, and you've got a great little situation in which I became overdrafted, started using my card to buy a $2.05 Venti Iced Black Tea with No Water, and so on. So then when my rent came out again on the 12th... yeah. The check I ended up getting on the 15th was entirely absorbed and I was *still* in the hole by $300. All told, I was assessed about $1400 in overdraft fees, but to give credit where credit is due, Shittizens did extend me the courtesy of returning $200 of those fees.

I subsequently opened a Bank of America account, but I haven't totally switched over because a) I'm lazy and b) I'm now scared of having only one stockpile of money because of situations like that.

Scott said...

Every once and a while a random phrase pops in my head and I google it to see what comes up. I googled "That Don't Confront Me" and I found you. Thanks for the laugh... I'll be back when I am not being tracked at work.