Keepin' It Real

I represent the streets. If the street is white-bred, lower-middle class and kind of dorky. But this is my street. Thanks to Yahoo! news, I have taken a gander at another street. And I am confused. The headline reads:

Rapper C-Murder loses conviction appeal

Now, it kind of sucks for this rapper, since he won't be able to buy the bling the sales of his new album, "The Truest (Bleep!) I Ever Heard." And I never heard of this C-Murder fellow. But, dude? The word "murder" is in your John Hancock. Isn't that kind of like putting stain-stick on the blood-stained clothes you were wearing but not making it to the laundromat for a week? Maybe you should have been C-Pacifist or C-Innocent Until Proven Guilty. C-Murder makes you look a shade suspicious.
I long for the days of Snoop Doggy Dogg (Snoop Dogg doesn't do as well for me) and Tupac. They were smart enough to have cartoon-character or Jewish holiday sounding names, respecively, so one wouldn't immediately suspect them of murder. Also, I like their tunes that I hear wafting over from The Street to Dorky White Girl Drive.