Skinny Bitches

My New England friends-- we are the skinny bitches in this country.
I'd like to give a big shout-out to my home state for kicking it with the skinny. We're getting fatter, but we're still hotter than the women in Mississippi.
I am not feeling funny today-- having a falling-out with the Whatever, who nearly threw me out of his car without taking a gander at my newly-smooth cooch, still dying of stress with the added stress of waiting for the phone to ring so I can have at it, all while formatting quizzes for Ohio and planning to write an article without having arranged an interview yet with the owners of the store. Great.
Someone kill me. Or kill the people who are stressing me out.