Sweet! (Rather, Starchy)

Hallelujah!
Thank you, o God of Starches, for banishing the evil of low-carb diets. Once more people are eating your golden loaves of bread, your sugary but nutrient-rich fruits, your pastas and cereals. People drink milk without fear. The dark veil of Dr. Atkins' rule over the fine cooks at the Food Network (Rachel Ray did a slew of low-carb meal shows) is over. No more low-carb cookies, low-carb ice cream, low-carb bread (it's just thinner slices, America!). Less meat. Less eggs. More taste. For Christ's sake, just eat less and go for a walk.