Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It Wasn't Chuck

I've tried to give Chuck Turner the benefit of the doubt. To paraphrase what John Tobin told the Globe when the charges against the Boston City Councilor came out, he always seemed like a passionate ideologue, not a money-hungry politician.

Unlike Dianne Wilkerson, who most people always suspected was out for Number One, what with all the nonpayment of taxes and alleged perjury and whatnot.

But, Chuck. Come on, dude. Your assertion that the photo stills from the FBI video might have been faked is really far-out. Even for you.

"I've seen some grainy photographs. I don't know if that's me. They doctor photographs," Turner told The Associated Press. "I know it looks something like me, but the reality is I haven't seen the real photo. There hasn't been an analysis done on the photographs."

Yes, Chuck, a photograph can be faked or altered. Jezebel has a regular feature about the nefarious applications of Photoshop. But it's usually used to remove a blemish or take a couple of inches off the hips, not incriminate an innocent victim.

But, hey, maybe Turner is right. I'm no Photoshop expert. Because if I were, I would have added the following items to the incriminating still in question:

  • A dimebag of weed
  • One of those goldfish you win at a carnival
  • A chocolate donut
  • The latest Miley Cyrus CD
  • Deep Pockets' Christmas list
  • A Rubber Ducky
  • A bootleg copy of Twilight

In closing, I leave you with this. Because if I have it stuck in my head, so should you.

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