O Holiday Tree, O Holiday Tree, How PC Are Thy Branches

I never thought I'd say it, but I agree with Laura Bush. It's a fucking Christmas tree. It is not, Boston, a "holiday tree." You know who you're fooling with that crap? No one. My roommate, who is Jewish, knows that's a steaming pile of crap. It's got red and green on it. It's been called a Christmas tree since Zachary Taylor was President, for fuck's sake. Call it a Christmas tree. I imagine it must be hard for people of other religions to walk around and hear all about Christmas and red and green and Christmas Eve and fa-la-la-la-la and all that. I'm not discounting other religions with this. Should other religions be recognized if they have holidays around this time of year? Certainly. Light a menorah. Spin a dreidel. Mrs. Goldenburg would come to my classroom and explain dreidels and the Hanukkah story to my class. It's kind of a cool story. I mean, the birth of the Savior is pretty good, but the story I heard most was about a big fat guy who would come down the chimney (which we didn't have) and leave presents. Sure, it's cool, but how did they keep that oil going for so long, man? But they don't call it a "holiday candelabra". It's a menorah. An evergreen tree with lights on it is a Christmas tree.


You can't have it both ways, is what I'm saying. Call it a Christmas tree, because that's what it is. When Hanukkah comes around on the 26th, light the menorah. I'm begging you, can we drop this issue? I don't like agreeing with both Laura Bush and Jerry Falwell about anything.