::Yawn::

So the Red Sox have a new GM. It's Theo Epstein!
Oh wait. It isn't.
Yes, proving without a doubt that some sort of fucked up hoodoo voodoo is going on over on Yawkey Way, the Red Sox owners/kamakazi pilots picked two guys to fill Theo's shoes. Two semi-attractive, semi-smart dudes to pick up where the one guy who navigated us into a team that won a World Series left off. Two guys who helped, in the words of Kristen, got us fourteen third basemen and a semi-functional pitcher, and also traded away the Mirabelli during the winter meetings. Great.
Also, because I am selfish, there is the matter of appearance in all this. Behold, the newbies:

Not bad, but not great. The guy in the foreground is married to a channel 7 sports reporter. The guy in the back I can't speak to, but my friend Alicia thinks he's hot. I mean, he's not bad, but look at him. Then look at this:

Yeah. Add in the fact that Theo is also smart, and donates loads of time and money to local charities, and these two new dudes have a lot of work to do to curry my favor. Such as getting the Sox into the playoffs not as a wild card, and then winning the World Series convincingly. Good luck, boys.
There's some talk of Theo coming back in an advisory position with the Sox, but the general reaction seems lukewarm. Advisors don't get TV commercials with Johnny Damon. I can just imagine Theo barging into Fenway, sitting down with the two newbies, and saying, "Don't fuck up. That'll be $300,000. Have a nice day, gentlemen."