Monday, July 17, 2006


Why are you all thinking so loudly? SHH.

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Yesterday was the best day in the history of ever, pretty much. I got up early, and Steph and I went to the beach. It was hot and sandy and perfect. Then I came back into town, gathered up some provisions (read: beer) and headed to Great Woods with Alicia and Kristen to see La Clarkson.

We got to Great Woods at about 5pm, and the lot was already filling up. It was a much different crowd than the last time I was there, with mothers unloading minivans full of young girls wearing denim skirts, giggling and excited. On the left of our car were two young mothers with their six-year-old daughters. Each girl had a Britney Spears circa 1999 fake headset to pretend to sing into, and they sipped cans of Diet Coke while asking their mothers when they could have a beer. We guiltily poured our beers into Solo cups. I lost count around five beers. I made several trips to the Porta-Potty. I was hot and hammered. I love summer.

We stumbled into the gates, and found a spot on the lawn. Rooney was the opening act, and while I vaguely remember them from an episode of the O.C., but they sucked live. I got bored and went on a quest to find a doughboy. Shortly after I returned, Kelly took the stage.

I don't want to hear another thing from the media about Kelly being too fat. The girl is a peanut. Granted, she was dressed well last night-- her stylist took mercy-- with black cargo pants and a white wifebeater, without shoes. She sang her ass off on that stage. She played a couple songs off her new album, which I'd like to offer some commentary on, but the fifteen-year-old girls in front of me who were smoking and drinking (my God, I've become my mother) wouldn't shut up enough for me to hear well.

I sang my drunk fool head off to the stuff I knew, however, and I think Kristen has permanent hearing damage in her right ear from me yelling "WHOOOOO! KEEELLLEEEYYY!" between songs. But it was worth it. Remind me I said that when my boss fires me upon seeing me with my head on my desk, awash in a puddle of drool.

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