Thursday, July 13, 2006

This Just In: Girls Are Moody; Men Leave Toilet Seat Up

I was just telling Annette last night that I don't watch very many sitcoms. I don't think that the sitcom has much to offer anymore. This is not to say I don't like funny shows-- last night's rerun of the Colbert Report had me in stitches ("Our Kids-- What the Hell is Wrong With Them?"). But I've found that, next to reality television, the sitcom has had the least evolution in recent television history. There are funny comedies-- The Office, My Name is Earl-- but they're not laugh-track, typical "guy and a wife" sitcom. There must be new material in that someplace.

I think of this, because sitcoms deal mainly in stereotypes. The guy-- usually a comedian who was an alcoholic doing standup in the '80s-- is a big fat oaf without anything to offer, in my opinion. The woman-- usually a smoking hot actress ten years the fat oaf's junior-- is smarter than him, but she stays home to take care of their whip-smart kids. The wife yells, the guy drinks beer and wonders why the woman yells, and usually blames it on PMS.

This isn't funny. It's also not funny when a guy suggests a woman is aggressive only when she is about to menstruate. Why do I bring this up, you may ask? When are you getting to the damn point, Amy? Well, here it is.

Ed Carpenter, who trails Patrick by four slots in the IRL IndyCar Series' points race, made the comment when asked how Patrick might handle NASCAR racing during a radio appearance to promote Saturday night's Firestone Indy 200.

"I think Danica's pretty aggressive in our cars," Carpenter said Wednesday on WGFX-FM in Nashville.

"I mean, you know especially if you catch her at the right time of the month, she might be trading plenty of paint out there," he said. "But I think she'll hold her own. Who's she's going to drive for is hard to say. I don't think she's leaving, so we'll see."

This is why I don't like racing. Not to mention it is not a goddamn sport (baseball, soccer, hockey, basketball, football, volleyball... bass fishing at least requires you to stand up), but the inherent amount of macho bullshit these drivers spew is unbelievable. I'm too lazy to search my own archives right now, but I know I've written about the shit Danica Patrick takes from these clowns before.

I'd like to send a memo to these men: Women can be aggressive, with or without the aid of their hormones. Us uppity bitches can scratch and claw to get what we want just because we've always had to. We had to fight for the right to wear pants (thanks, Katherine Hepburn!). We had to fight for the right to vote. We continue to have to fight for control over our own uteruses (uteri?). We have to fight for good pay and the basic respect from men in our professional lives that you take for granted. Maybe that's why we're so fucking aggressive, not because our uterus sheds its lining once a month when we're not home barefoot and pregnant like you'd apparently prefer.

To her credit, Danica took his assholery with good grace:

Patrick, a presenter at the ESPY Awards in Los Angeles on Wednesday night, didn't take offense when informed of Carpenter's comments.

"That sounds like a good joke to me, it's pretty funny to me," she said backstage. "No big deal. Ed is a really nice guy. There's no drama there. I think it's funny. I'm glad he's showing some personality."

I like that little dig at the end. "Well, he's kind of a boring fucker, so I'm glad he's at least got the personality to say something inflammatory about women." I guess Danica likes watching Everybody Loves Raymond as well, since she finds the PMS joke funny. But she's sticking to racing, despite the shit she has to take from her fellow racers, so well done.

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