Wednesday, July 06, 2005

It Was All Yellow

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I am issuing the call. Stop it with the cause bracelets. When you can buy these things for a buck at Claires, it's time to stop.
It started out as a noble thing-- albeit a bit self-promoting since Lance has worn the Tour de France's yellow jersey for longer than he was in diapers-- to raise awareness and money for cancer. Nobody loves cancer and people love people who beat cancer. It's an impressive feat, and I don't fault Lance a bit for raising money. But I wish he had not let loose the scourge of cause bracelets on the world.
Now there's Think Blue (for voting Democratic in the next election) which I actually own. There's be nice to animals bracelets. There's Red Sox Nation bracelets. I'm sure there's Republican bracelets, sick puppy bracelets, alcoholics bracelets, unemployed people bracelets, support the troop bracelets (don't get me started on the magnetic yellow ribbons), gay marriage bracelets, anti-gay marriage bracelets, save Katie bracelets, love Jesus bracelets... enough. It's great you have a cause. Can't you buy a t-shirt like a normal person? Eventually, causes will run out of colors and what one person thinks is a Red Sox bracelet will really be a Red State bracelet and nobody will be able to read a person by the bands on their forearms again.
Then you get the do-gooders who want to change the world by spending a few bucks on a rubber bracelet for every cause they see. When I was in New York, I saw a girl walking down the street with both of her arms encased in cause bracelets nearly up to her elbows. The girl was about thirteen years old-- how could she possibly have found that many causes at such a young age? I was too busy listening to Tori Amos and Alanis Morisette endlessly at thirteen to give a shit about poor people or lab rats or baseball teams.
End it. Stop. It's good that people care about things-- now if only they'd pony up some actual money instead of paying lip service to a cause. Go build a house for poor people or go see a Sox game if you care so much. Use your wrists for watches and normal bracelets.

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