Thursday, January 19, 2006

Boys in Bikinis Club

My hero of the day, given Kelly Clarkson's defection to the whims of 19 Entertainment, is Shannon Fitzpatrick.

Check it:

Twelve students will vie tonight to become Mr. Saugus High School, a coveted title that comes with a Burger King crown wrapped in velvet, a gift certificate for Chinese food, and unrivaled bragging rights.
But one hopeful will strut across the stage to the tune of ''Rebel Girl." Shannon Fitzpatrick will become the first girl ever to compete in the mock male beauty pageant, a Saugus High tradition for 15 years, organized by the Student Council.


Sounds like fun, right? Of course, everyone's got all their knickers in a bunch over it.

School officials, who say the pageant is harmless fun, question Fitzpatrick's motives. ''I'm baffled," said Jane Osgood, the Student Council adviser and an English teacher. ''Mr. Saugus High was never meant to be a political or exclusive kind of event. It's a joke."


I mean, no, it's no Matthew Shepard-type discrimination, but why can't she dress like a man in a joke contest? If it's such a joke, why is Ms. Osgood so worked up about a girl participating?

''It's a last-hurrah event for senior year," said Fitzpatrick, an honors student. ''I wanted to have fun, like the boys. I didn't think I needed any reason beyond that."
...

School principal Joseph Diorio, who spoke with a lawyer about Fitzpatrick's eligibility, said some students are upset. ''The pageant is a tradition," he said. ''We'd never had a female student want to be in it before."

Chris Buonopane, the reigning Mr. Saugus High, said he asked Fitzpatrick not to enter. ''I told her, If you want to make a difference, you'd be better off doing something that doesn't interfere with tradition."

Are you fucking kidding me? It's a fun tradition! Fitzpatrick wants to have fun with the boys. Shut the hell up and let her put on a tux and walk across the stage. The principal's "boy's only" attitude is a little disconcerting, as is the reigning Mr. Saugus High's. Traditions can be changed. I mean, Christmas used to be about family and thinking about people less fortunate than you. Now it's about iPods and sales figures. Things change. Let the girls play the game too.

In high school, you feel stuck. Everything holds so much weight in your young life. If you fall on your ass in the talent show, you feel like it's on the cover of People since everyone you know is talking about it. I did the best I could to change my little corner of the world when I was in high school. I wrote satirical pieces about the hall passes with a form we were forced to carry when we went to the bathroom. I did skits in the talent show about how bad Hanson sucked. Those were my little peeps of protest, and it's hard to go against tradition in high school. So good on ya, Shannon Fitzpatrick, for screwing with them.

1 comment:

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