Friday, January 13, 2006

College Educated? Well, You're a Moron

Check out this jackhole.
Let's talk about why people feel the need to be educated for a career instead of studying the works of Plato.

College is fucking expensive. So is the rest of life.

I don't know who this jerkoff is (other than what his byline tells me-- a professor at Bridgewater State College-- look, I extrapolated data!) but it must be a wonderful world he lives in where people sit around in togas all day long and discuss the works of the great philosophers without such concerns as rent and the purchase of vittles. I just can't stand the tone this guy takes.
Behind the dismal data on college graduate literacy is the new reality of higher education in America. Students today have little interest in what past generations of college students accepted as an essential education. Reading the literature of ''dead white guys," studying the relevancy of a 400-year-old historical event, and thinking about the meaning of life's mysteries are not of great interest to a growing number of college students.

Now, it's all about focusing on a career path, studying narrowly about the skills required of that career path, and then crossing the stage on graduation day. The only problem, as the literacy study shows, is that this short-cut route to postgraduate adulthood leaves behind the building blocks of an educated person.

No one really knows when this kind of discount college education got its hold on American youth and why the old-fashioned essentials of liberal arts training went out of vogue. Some point to the Internet as the culprit, where all the answers are at the fingertips of the college student, or the popular culture, where the ideas of Oprah and Tom Cruise's blog musings have the same stature as Plato's ''Republic" or Shakespeare's ''The Merchant of Venice."


What? I don't know any college student who views the blogs of Oprah or Tom Cruise (do scientologists even believe in the internet?) as equivalents to "The Merchant of Venice." I think anyone who could be admitted to any college with this mindset would find himself in over his head pretty damn quick and drop out.

The logic in this article is completely flawed, and I hope this Kryzanek fellow isn't up for tenure. He cites popular culture as a detriment to learning, but uses Animal House to frame his argument. I'm sorry, is that a lost manuscript of Shakespeare's? Or are you just dumbing down your article so us college-educated people can keep up with your superior intellect? Also, you teach at a college! Perhaps you should teach "Label Reading 101" as a required course for freshmen to help raise the percentages of students who can extrapolate data from a source? Good God. Listen, I'm not here to defend the intellect of the average American. We're selfish, boorish people. The highlight of my week is watching Project Runway. But don't tell me I'm an idiot. I read the dead white guys. But I need a fucking job so I can pay for the privilege of having someone like you to evaluate my reading skills, and a college degree is the best way to get there. If a student is lacks the knowledge you think they need, flunk them, or work with them to improve their skills. Don't sit there and bemoan how everything sucks when you're in a position to change things.

I also hate when people whine about popular culture and how low-brow it is. It's the world we live in, pal. Not all of us want to wear tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and talk about Plato all day, because maybe we'd like to relate to our fellow human beings. Lots of popular culture references these classic works and piques interest in them (remember the rash of teen movies that were based on Shakespeare's comedies?) and develops our social skills. Read this book, it makes a compelling argument for popular culture not rotting our minds like the mental equivalent of corn syrup like you think it does.

Perhaps Michael Kryzanek should head out to one of Bridgewater State's frat houses, smoke a bowl with the dumb kids, and chill the fuck out.

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