Top Forty

I love countdown shows. VH1 must have an entire department of people who pitch ideas for these shows. "Top 100 Songs in 4/4!" "Top 50 Wardrobe Malfunctions!" "Top 30 Dramatic Rocker Suicides!" Everytime one is on I am sucked in for the duration. Today I got home early, since I am woefully between gym memberships, and flipped on VH1. 40 Hottest Rock Star Girlfriends... and wives was being aired, so I settled in for an enjoyable evening of switching between VH1 and the Food Network. (Sometimes, when I'm hungry but don't want to cook, I watch the Food Network.)
Something about this countdown rubbed me the wrong way. I don't get worked into a feminist lather very easily. I make barefoot and pregnant jokes often. I don't mind generalizations about women since I tend to generalize about men. But this Top 40 countdown had the tone of "these women are valid only as the significant others of these male musicians." Cameron Diaz was discussed as an actress, but primarily as a cute woman. Naomi Campell's modeling career was mentioned in passing, then the lineage of men she dated was discussed at length. Drew Barrymore was described as "elfish with a great rack." None of these women had identities of their own in this show-- they were passed around like a packed bowl at a Phish concert between various music celebrities. It was especially jarring since Rachel Perry was narrating, and she was talking about the countdown containing a lot of music and "boobies." Even she sounded fed up with the tone of the show.

Yeah, because what has Drew Barrymore done lately? Other than star in and produce movies, overcome drug problems... Good thing that nice rock star is taking care of her, because Lord knows she can't do it on her own.

American culture is turning back to the conservative mores of the past, and I don't mean kids having less sex or taking less drugs. Society seems to expect women to stick around the house and bear babies and forsake their careers and aspirations. Last week I was watching NBC Nightly News and a piece about a burgeoning women-only travel market came on. The tone of the piece was unbelievable. Brian Williams had this incredulous "can you believe these uppity bitches leaving their kids and husbands all alone and taking time for themselves?" tone on the lead in. The reporter sounded amazed that women would leave their families. What woman doesn't want to drag her kids and husband to Disney World and smile the whole time, shelling out $50 for some hot dogs and soda? Why would they want to hang out with their friends, or explore their interests on their vacation? Those crazy broads should be cooking chickens, wiping spittle and taking only fleeting moments for themselves until their kids turn eighteen.
I am one of the six people in the country who still watches The Apprentice, and tonight's episode made me really angry, and not just because the contestants are idiots. One woman, Tana, quit college to have children and move to a state where her husband had a job offer. Which is fine-- some people are okay with that and she made her choice. But Donald Trump got this super PC tone and said "There's nothing more important than having kids" and she agreed. Tana then proceeded to call the younger contestant, Kendra, less ambitious because she didn't leave a husband and kids behind to be on a reality TV show. "She doesn't have as much to lose as I do," Tana clucked self-importantly.
Just because a woman is unmarried and doesn't have kids doesn't mean she doesn't have a life. Some women don't want marriage. Some women hate the idea of a mewling baby. These women should not be pressured to reproduce because they'll crack under the pressure and drown the kids in the tub. A woman who chooses to stay at home and raise kids is fine, if that's what she wants. My mother stayed home with me until I was in junior high school and I'm a better person for it. But if she'd given up a career she loved and resented me for it, I would have been better off with my Mom in an office a few hours a day. Women, if I know my history and human rights here, have the right to choose their own path, just like men. Men can work, men can be stay-at-home dads. Women can trade token boyfriends around in Hollywood too. I sincerely hope this tone changes soon, or else girls will be thinking getting married at twenty-five and having babies immediately is the only way to be a complete person.