No Shit, Survey

Well well well. Check these little tidbits out:

Younger singles aged between 18-29 seem to be able to take romance or leave it: 51 percent said they were not in the market for a soulmate.

I wouldn't say I personally am opposed to finding a soulmate, but it's not the most important thing in my life. Right now, that number one priority for me is finding a living situation that doesn't make me want to kill myself.

The survey also lifts the lid on the barren dating scene even for those Americans singles who are playing the field.

Here we go, we get to it.

Thirty-six percent of those "active" on the dating scene said they had not had a date in three months, 13 percent had one. Twenty-two percent had been on between two and four dates, while a lucky quarter had been on five or more.

Despite the problems with this sentence's clarity (stick with percentages or fractions, don't do both) it gets to it. We single ladies are not hideous freaks for not having a ton of dates. 36% of us haven't been on a date in three months. It's fine. Everybody chill out.

Here's where the problems begin to happen:

Where is the best place to meet a partner? : according to the survey, which sampled Internet users on the question, 38 percent of those in committed relationships hooked up at work or school.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. There are NO single guys at my office. Not one. Not even an ugly motherfucker. And they ALL have girlfriends. ALL OF THEM. There is no way I am meeting a guy at work, because they won't hire any. I'm going to start accepting resumés from guys only. Yeah, it's discriminatory. BUT SO IS KEEPING ME LOCKED UP IN THIS CLOISTER. I can't afford school, and I went to a school full of gay men, so that won't work either. So my next best chance?

A third met through family and friends,

I can't do this anymore. Kristen has instituted a moritorium on her friends dating each other. But this is how I met the Whatever, so I guess I'd better log onto Friendster and get busy. I don't know who in my family would introduce me to dudes. My cousin hangs out with teh gays, and my brother's friends are allergic to holding jobs.

and 13 percent met their match at a nightclub, bar or cafe.

Yeah, okay. I don't find that meeting people while hammered is the best idea. But, to be fair, I met the Whatever this way too. Well, I guess I'll drink up and hope that my beer goggles aren't too strong a perscription.

Surprisingly, given the proliferation of online dating agencies and matchmakers, only three percent of happy couples who are also online met through the Internet.

Well, at least I know that those odds are pretty slim, because I am NOT doing that shit again.