Towels, Coffins, and Trash

Hang on a second.

In the past couple of weeks, channel 7 has told me not to ride in the "coffin car" (because, per Annette's Mom, you always die) and that I must wash my towel after using it twice. Nevermind the MBTA has had no commuter rail collisions since I was a newborn and that I've been using towels that haven't been washed in a week or more for my entire life and I have not yet contracted ebola or bird flu, or anything other than a mildly disgusted face after sniffing a stale towel.

But, per the tone of this latest bit of journalistic brilliance, I should pick my food from the trash and eat it.

Listen, I just watch for the meteorologist.