An Open Letter to McMansion Owners

Dear McMansion Owners,

Hi. My name is Amy, and I recently read an article in the Boston Globe about the burgeoning industry that helps people in your predicament. Apparently, there are so many of you buying these gigantic homes that have no idea what to do with the thousands of square feet of space that there are interior decorators that specialize in filling your huge house with crap.



This is a room. For a dog. The dog has it's own room. Back in my day, the dog's room was called "the kennel" and it was outside. This dog has his own personal shower and storage shelves. This dog lives better than 90% of the people in Dorchester.

Here's an idea-- if you have so much money you don't know what to do with it, give me some. Most of you quoted in this article are a couple, without kids, buying five or six room houses and then lamenting the lack of stuff you have to fill it. Isn't a house supposed to reflect you? Shouldn't you buy a house that isn't twice the size you actually need? There are entire multi-generational families living in two-room apartments while you say, "Gee, Pemberton, our fifth room is looking a little drab, perhaps we should install a home gymnasium?"

For real. Lay off the conspicuous consumption and buy a house that you actually need. Otherwise you're going to have huge financial problems and end up shooting your wife and baby in desperation.

And when the dog dies, please keep me in mind to rent out his room. I can fold up nicely to fit in the little shower. As long as I'm welcome to use your countertop vegetable steamer, I'd be happy to pay rent.

Sincerely,
Amy