BASEBALL GAME!!

Today I jump the Goodship Work half an hour early, borrow the HMS Dented Minivan and sail the concrete seas down to the strange land of Pawtucket, Rhode Island to see the (Paw) Sox season opener. I am unreasonably excited. And if you haven't been to Pawtucket to take in a fine minor league baseball game, you have not yet truly lived.

Check it. Yes, you have to drive to Rhode Island. But it's the third exit in the Ocean State. You don't even have to go into Providence, so you may as well just be in South Attleboro.

Parking is $2. If you get there early enough, you can park on the street. Good luck with doing anything for $2 at a Boston game.

The most expensive tickets are $9. I don't think beer costs that little at Fenway.

The Xtra Large Tron (I wouldn't call it Jumbo) has the coolest smiley faces that wave their robot arms victoriously when the Sox score a run. Doing an impersination of this is hilarity of the highest order.

McCoy is really family-friendly, so you can watch kids get really excited about baseball without fearing suffocation in the tiny seats at Fenway. The kids I babysit, who are baseball neophytes, ask me every time I see them when I'm taking them to a PawSox game. Watching kids dangle beach pails down into the PawSox dugout for autographs is adorable. (And by "kids" I mean "me.")

I pray to the Gods of Beer that they have 'Gansett. Because I will make my friends sleep in a dented minivan in the Quebecor parking lot until I sleep it off if I can have 'Gansett on tap.

It's very exciting to think you may see a rehabbing major leaguer up-close. Last year we had the pleasure of seeing Kapler when he returned from Japan. While it is sad that the major leaguer is hurt, it is awesome to see them so clearly. The Paw Sox website reports the Fat Man himself, David Wells, may pitch tomorrow.

The french fries? Awesome. And cheap.

Pawtucket is the home of Baseball's Longest Game. They celebrate this by selling large sodas in commemerative cups that I think every household in Rhode Island must own by state law. I have one from a couple years ago, and my grandmother has one from the early '80s.

It's always a privilege to be able to say, "Oh, I saw him in Pawtucket" when the newest newbie gets brought up, and cheer him on when he makes something of himself. I will send along well-wishes to Mssrs. Cla Meredeth and Manny Delcamino. (Yes, I know his name is Delcarmen.)