Rando

Baseball in April is cold. Even the umpires made a dubious call to end the game because it was so cold. Go PawSox!

This is the longest Friday in history. It's only 3:30 and I'm making involuntary motions to call a bartender over like an infant nursing in his sleep.

Bathing suit shopping season is here. I am in a deep debate with myself about whether or not I am in any kind of shape to work a two-piece. I have paunch, yes, but will it look better in a cute little bikini top and hip-slung bottom than in a tankini? The jury is out. I will have to round up my close friends and have them be honest. Not cruel, just a simple authoritative "NO" if the modeled bathing suit is offensive.

PSA Time: I've recently had reason to doubt my status in the STD-Free club (@#$&%) and I visited my very lovely gynecologist for the complete workup. Everything came back fine, but if you have any reason to doubt, please go and get checked out. This site has a list of places in the Boston area that will test you for cheap if money's an issue. If you're lucky, they'll be like my gyno and give you a Disney princess band-aid!

When the weather gets consistently warmer, I'm in trouble. I hate all my spring clothes, and I haven't even worn them yet. If anybody needs a freelance proofreader, email me!

3:45? Jesus. I'm going to stab myself with something to wake up.

3:58. Wailing head against desk to end this suffering.

Okay. I am going to read my archives or something. I want to leave now.