Just a shout-out to my little brother, who turns the best age ever, 21, today.
I fear for his liver. I remember 21-22 being the worst years for drinking, drinking too much, and ending up barfing into my garbage can because I had the spins so bad I couldn't find the bathroom. Either my liver is slowly turning into one of the model "horrors of alcoholism" livers they show in medical textbooks and DARE classes, or I'm being more responsible. I believe it's a combination of the two. I don't drink the excess much anymore because my old body can't take the all-day hangover. At 20, 21, 22, I was able to bounce back pretty quickly. But at my advanced age (24.5) I cannot do that. I must instead lie on the couch, moaning, and watching "I Love The..." reruns on VH1.
To my brother, I would like to impart some lessons learned:
- There is no shame in sleeping it off in the car.
- Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear.
- Greasy food before and after heavy drinking helps.
- Never, ever, EVER drive a car drunk. EVER. This one I didn't even need to learn firsthand.
- Beer pong is hard. It gets easier the more you drink. Then it gets harder as you can't stand up.
- Never choose a time when you're hammered to discuss important emotional concerns.
- Get ready for pictures like these.
- Sit upright for as long as possible to avoid the spins. Because once the spins start, you're going to barf.
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