Welcome Back My Friends To The Show That Never Ends

Wow.

Dude. American Idol? Best finale ever!

Shut up.

Mary J. Blige! Dionne Warwick! Motherfucking Prince. Yes, Prince, Prince of "Purple Rain" and "When Doves Cry" fame. There were others (Meatloaf, Toni Braxton) who were much less noteworthy because they sucked. Confidential to Toni Braxton: trying to give Taylor a boner while singing "In the Ghetto" may not be the most tasteful thing you could do.


Even Prince thinks Toni was in poor taste.

This show had me all confused as if I myself were Paula Abdul. Colors! Sparkles! Pretty dresses! Look, it's Chris Daughtry rockin' out with his cockin' out alongside Live. I loved it. I was a pawn of this show. I was manipulated and thoroughly entertained and didn't have an intelligent thought in my head for two hours. This must be why I wasn't so upset when Taylor won. They are the worst final two in the history of this show, as many have said, but by the end of that entertaining finale I didn't care. Prince just got off the stage. Who gives a shit about these two?

Best quote of the night goes to my friend Steph, who was speaking of Carrie Underwood's song. "That's what country music is all about: Jesus and driving."