Yet Another Fucked-Up Election

Girl, you aren't the only one who's surprised.

Okay. I try not to trumpet my love of American Idol too loudly. I know it makes me uncool, I am all that's wrong with America by watching this show, yeah yeah.

But what the fuck, America? Every time. EVERY election we have, whether for a President or a pop star, you fuck it up. Every. Time. Why? Katherine sucked this week. Elliott is boring. Taylor is an asshole. Chris rocked America's face off. And how does America repay him? By giving him das boot for wearing sunglasses, or some other dumb ass reason. All I can imagine is Simon Cowell pulling a Mr. McAllister from Election and sweeping ballots into the trash, except he plucked them from Chris' pile and not Elliott's, thus creating the "oh shit" expression on his face.

It was utter shock as the results were revealed. I shrieked. Stephanie said "NO WAY." Gretchen huddled under her blanket more. I called Ryan Seacrest a little bitch for springing it on us that way.

All I can say is, ef a dumb America. Enjoy Taylor's twitching and writhing, you dumb shits. I'll wait for Fuel's offer to make Chris lead singer on Extra tonight at 7pm.